the greater wave of love
January 17, 2021
That mid January weekend it would have been hard to imagine loving you more, yet with each year our love grew deeper. It does still, even though you’re away. We were married in our home, the peak of the house just outside our bedroom. The room cleared for guests to witness, adorned with twinkling lights. The mayor of our little town, shaking nervously as he officiated.
This spring would be 16 years together. Maybe it’s all the quiet time sitting alone, but I can see us, see you, see me, better than I had before. It is my experience and belief that in giving yourself to another you are on a journey to discovering your true self. Jamie, you are my person, you are my home. Continuing our journey, discovering us through it and who we were to be after a long road is at the heart of all I wanted, all I will ever want.
Together we are something beautiful.
No one can take us.
Growing up, life taught me to be guarded, hiding away many of the parts of me that felt different, playful, and brave. Until I met you, and you could see me, see all the parts I hid away.
There is no one else I feel completely at ease with. For you alone I can let down my guard and be totally seen.
I’ve hurt myself asking why I didn’t marry you sooner. In the hurt I time travel and remember feeling what it was to be the younger us. It was never a question whether you were the one. Never a fear of commitment or need for external validation. So right, no urgency, no need for formality to affirm we would always be one.
In the afternoon, our hands and eyes in each other's, vowing our lives to one another, I felt it. Something that cannot be anticipated, only experienced.
People all move at our own pace. Maybe before that day my heart and mind were too young to be present to the magnitude of our love. Once I let that greater wave hit, it only kept growing.
Traversing the void I carry you. You carry me. We carry each other. Happy anniversary my love. I miss you. My heart sinks to the deepest depths without you.
Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging onJust a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It's such funJust a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
Someone goodOh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on-Lou Reed
